Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 19 - Practice What You Preach

This wasn’t how Day 19 was supposed to go… I didn’t plan this and I most certainly am not happy about it. But it is what it is…

The first thing I did when I arrived at work this morning was put lotion on my hands. It was at that moment that I noticed something was missing from one of my fingers: my wedding ring. I immediately felt a physical response to this realization in the form of a racing heart and instant nervousness. There are two potential places I could have left it at home: one , on my paper towel rack (random I know, but there is a little metal part that sticks up resembling a ring holder and I’ll put my ring there sometimes when I am working in the kitchen) or two, on my actual ring holder in the bathroom.

I can’t remember taking it off last night. So, if it is not at home where is it? Another thought occurred to me. The only other time I take my ring off (aside from cooking/cleaning at home) is at work when putting on lotion. I recently got my wedding band and engagement ring soldered together in December and so I have been extra careful not to get lotion in between the cracks.  A week or two ago, I stepped away from my desk and when I returned saw my ring sitting there as I had forgotten to put it back on. That is what scares me! Did I do that again? It is nowhere to be found here at work and yet I can’t remember taking it off at home last night either.

So, I called my husband frantically trying to reach him before he left for school so he could check and see if the ring is anywhere at home. He didn’t pick up. I texted him, not one, not two, but three times! No reply. I finally got a hold of him but he was already in the car. Shoot, that means I am going to have to wait all day to find out if the ring is at home! My finger feels naked and I am antsy knowing what a long day I have ahead of me.

My husband lovingly, yet firmly, reminded me of something during our conversation. I have been going on and on about taking control of anxiety the past 18 days. Now it’s time to practice what I preach. Wow. Reality check!

He is absolutely right though. I have been given the perfect opportunity today to do just that. I have a choice: worry all day about whether or not the ring is at home, or set these fears aside and focus not only on work, but on having a good day. I can ask those, often nasty “what if” questions, like “what if it’s gone forever?” or I can ask the more hopeful version of “what if’s” such as “what if I find it when I get home tonight?” That would be amazing!

It’s so easy to have head knowledge about this stuff but when it comes to living it out, it’s a lot harder! But do-able. And today I am making the decision to do just that. I don’t know if I’ll find my ring. I’ll be incredibly sad if I don’t but aside from a naked ring finger, nothing will really change. Sure, I’ll have to grieve the loss of my beautiful engagement ring and the matching wedding band I was so thrilled to pick out a few years ago but the ring itself is merely a symbol. It says nothing of the love my hubby and I share and  without it, we’ll continue to love each other and remain committed to growing our marriage.

*Sigh*… Today is gonna be a long day. I don’t know what’s going to happen… But I resolve to use this day as an opportunity to grow and convert some of my education about anxiety into real life experience.


  1. That was absolutely wonderful! Thanks, Angela, for a reminder of what's important: "the symbol?" No, but rather the "commitment!" (PS - I do hope you find the ring!)

  2. Thanks to both of you! I did in fact find the ring. A huge relief and grateful for the lesson too.