Friday, January 14, 2011

Day 12 - What if?

We've started down this road where we are beginning to connect our thoughts and our feelings. Today I want to focus on one type of thought specifically: The "What If..." thought. These can be killers!

"What If" thoughts are centered around worry and thinking them can spur on a series of worries that are absolutely imprisoning! Some examples:

Money: Those of you who have been to med school or law school (or are married to someone who has) will totally understand this, but money is a big concern when you're in this situation. (My hubby is in law school at Duke hence our move to North Carolina a few months ago). Money becomes tight when you're young, one spouse is new to a career, the other is in school and you're living off one income! Plus add kids to the mix (which thankfully we don't have yet) and things get even more tight. Budget, budget, budget is all you think about! (Or is it just me)? Anywho... the "What If" questions tend to flow out like an unwelcome leak in the faucet. What if we can't pay our bills? What if we never get out of doubt? What if money is a concern forever? The list goes on...

Relationships: I have heard this from so many women and I remember thinking the same thoughts before I got married. What if I never meet someone? What if I never get married? What if I never have kids? What if I am alone forever?

Career: What if I never find the right job for me? What if I never get promoted? What if I make this much money forever?

Why do we ask ourselves these thoughts? There is very little benefit. Yes, it's important to be aware of the varying aspects of a particular situation... in the money example, knowing that there is a chance you won't be able to pay your bills is important and helps you make plans. But to ask yourself these questions constantly does nothing but absolutely freak you (and those around you) out!

Next time you think in terms of "What If" notice what happens to your body. I guarantee you'll feel some changes (increased heart beat possibly, a rise in body temperature, headache or nausea maybe). Try to link your anxious feelings to whatever thoughts are running through your head.

Ask yourself: What if I can pay the bills this month? What if I do meet someone fabulous and get married? What if I make tons of money in a few years once I have moved a few more steps up the career ladder? Aren't these "What If's" just as feasible?

Think about it and have a great weekend!

1 comment:

  1. Great blog! I think it's easier to live in fear than in faith. And yeah, I do the "what-if" game too. It's like, stop it already!