Day 2 - Build Momentum

What does it mean to build momentum in life? Well for starters, momentum is not compatible with being stuck. So if you feel stuck, you may need to get some momentum going to pull yourself out. So often we feel stuck in our lives and it's a horrible feeling; like we have to remain in a job we don't like or that we'll always look/feel a certain way... but we want more! So, how do we start? Getting unstuck is scary because not only will you likely have to leave something familiar behind, but you're also most likely stepping into something unknown. It can be a big risk!
Here is the key. Start small.

I had a professor in grad school who talked to us about this topic. He gave an example... Let's say someone wants to start running in the mornings but has never done it before and is having trouble getting started. (I'm on a running kick right now)! Day 1 rolls around and all they have to do is wake up and actually get out of bed. They don't even have to run that day; they just have to get out of bed and put on their running shoes. Done - Day 1 complete. Day 2 comes. Today the person gets out of bed, puts on their running shoes and goes outside. Done - Day 2 complete. Day 3 is when the person actually takes their first jog around the block. By the time the week ends, the major hurdle is over. Little by little the individual is getting used to the discipline of waking up early and is now running short distances around the block. As the distance increases in the following days and weeks, running every morning becomes a habit. 

Here's another example. Have you heard of Dave Ramsey? He is a sort of financial guru, if you will. He has written a number of bestselling books on personal finances and getting out of debt. He offers seven baby steps to getting your finances in order and Step 2 is to pay off debt, however he doesn't recommend paying it off in the way you might imagine he would. He calls his method the debt snowball and essentially he suggests that you pay off your smallest debts first, not your largest. He states this on his website:  

The point of the debt snowball is simply this: You need some quick wins in order to stay pumped up about getting out of debt! Paying off debt is not always about math. It’s about motivation. Personal finance is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior. When you start knocking off the easier debts, you will see results and you will stay motivated to dump your debt. 

Are you feeling stuck in some area of your life? What are small ways you can begin to build momentum to create lasting results?

See you tomorrow!

Day 1 - Be intentional about being inspired

Inspiration as defined by Miriam-Webster:

the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions

Change rarely happens simply because one wants it to; it requires much more than that. A desire to change without strong motivation on an emotional level is often futile. So, how do we invest on that deeper level? Get inspired.

Yesterday I talked about how going outside for a run and remembering what it used to feel like (physically, mentally, emotionally) when I was a consistent runner has inspired me to run some more. Back up even further though. What made me want to run again in the first place?

Sam, one of my favorite contestants from Season 9! 



Everyone who knows me knows I am mildly obsessed with “The Biggest Loser”! If you haven’t seen it I encourage you to check it out! To watch men and women who weigh sometimes 4-500 pounds completing difficult physical challenges, conquering temptations and eventually by the time the season ends, running a full marathon is awe-inspiring. Additionally, the show has a doctor who examines the contestants at the beginning of the season and again at the end. Many people who started out with diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and other nutrition-related illness are able to drastically reduce their dependency on medications. I can't help but be amazed each and every week at the progress the contestants make not just a physical level, but on a much deeper one too, as they work through past conflicts and the deep-seated reasons for their weight gain. 

When I watch these episodes and see the incredible accomplishments of the contestants as well as the sacrifices they make in order to live longer, healthier lives, I am amazed. I can't help but want want to live a healthy life myself.

Tara from Season 7! Another inspiration!

On a totally different note, here is another example of how I am intentional about being inspired. One of my goals, and this will always be a goal for the rest of my life, is to know God more and grow closer to Him every day. One of the best ways to get to know someone is to spend time with them. Same with God. But sometimes when I have opportunities to spend time with God I choose not to. I may choose to watch TV or hang out with a good friend. Either way, I am not growing in my knowledge of or closeness to God.

So, I have to be intentional about being inspired. I make going to church on Sunday morning practically a non-negotiable. Not to be legalistic but because I know that being there will inspire me and re-inspire me week after week. I am challenged intellectually by the teaching and I connect with God on an emotional level through worship. I also particpate in a weekly small group. By being around others who share a similar desire, we can encourage each other to grow closer to God.

Sometimes inspiration just hits us and that's a beautiful thing. Other times, we have to figure out what inspires us and go after it. What inspires you?

Small Changes = BIG Results!

The new series is here! It's called

Small Changes = BIG Results

and will focus on little things we can do to create lasting change. Join me for the next 21 days as we explore this new topic!





Running...

On Saturday I ran for the first time in a long time. I used to run consistently starting in high school all the way through my mid-twenties but when I started graduate school my life got a little hectic. My husband and I got married, I was working full-time (while taking a full class load) and trying to adjust to school again since it had been a few years since I finished my undergrad studies. Needless to say, life had gone from routine to totally new and different (as well as insanely busy) in a short amount of time and working out fell by the wayside. (It’s unfortunate because I’m sure working out more would have been extremely helpful in terms of managing the stress of graduate school).

 Anyway, it was so refreshing being outdoors again this weekend and I was reminded of how confident, healthy and energized I used to feel when I was a regular runner. While I let go of it because I was "too busy" and "too overwhelmed," looking back I feel like the benefits would have far outweighed those concerns. The energy I would have gained from running would have carried over into increased energy for studying and other activities. The extra confidence I would have had from looking and feeling my absolute best would have carried over into all other areas of my life.

We get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we think we don’t have time to do things that we view as simply “just for fun” anymore. Or we feel selfish doing something for our own sake, because so many other people depend on us. But the truth is, these hobbies and self-care techniques are about more than fun! They are about rejuvenation and restoration! It's like how on an airplane we are supposed to put our own life jacket on in the case of an emergency before we help someone else. It's not because we are more important, it's because it won't be feasible to help anyone else if we are hurt too. Same idea here. Take care of yourself so that you can be effective and joyful in all areas of your life! 


Are there any habits you’ve let go of for one reason or another that you’d like to get back into? Whether exercise or some other relaxing/refreshing hobby? Think about reincorporating an old habit back into your life that in recent months or years has seemed less important (a HEALTHY one of course)!


Stay tuned for a new series starting tomorrow! I look forward to "21 days of..."  - come back tomorrow and find out!

Slow Down and Listen

I have had a lot on my mind lately. I had no idea when I decided to start blogging that I would become so invested in the process. But I'm glad I have. It is cathartic in a way to get my thoughts out there in writing; it's a form of journaling for me. And at the same time, it has been fun to receive feedback from friends, family and even those I have never met face-to-face who have reaped the benefit of putting into action something I suggested in a post.

But as I go, go, go with brainstorming, outlining, researching and writing, it's like my mind has become just a tad too full and has been unable to retain all of the information I need to retain in order to keep up with day-to-day life. Perfect example: The ring saga earlier this week.

I was reflecting on this and heard an inaudible message that was so clear it made me stop in my tracks: "Slow down and listen." Have you ever felt like God spoke to you in such a way that you just knew the only response was to act (or in my case, to act by not acting)? It was one of those moments. So I cancelled all blogging plans for the evening (thankfully I had already written my post for that day) and took a bubble bath. The first one I have taken in so long! I also journaled and sat quietly before God. I was filled with so much peace that I wanted to kick myself for not doing that more often! (Although kicking myself might have have contradicted the whole "slow down" part).

Does anyone else have trouble slowing down? Or listening? Or both?

Try it this weekend! Have a great one!

Day 21 - Final thoughts...

 I have been feeling some serious writer's block today as I try to prepare for this final blog post on anxiety. It's funny because this is not the end all, be all. I have plenty of time to continue posting and even adding to this series as time goes by and yet I am pressuring myself to make my final words today extra meaningful. :)

I think the way I want to end this is on the topic of perspective. I read an interesting blog post recently called Anxiety as a Tool for Growth. I encourage you to check it out but from what I could gather, the main point is: perspective. Anxiety can be used to help us or harm us depending on how we use it and view it.

A good friend of mine, and fellow Life Coach, often says that we need to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. It is amazing how when we start to do that, it's truly as though they reveal things in the same way another person might. If we sit back and reflect on the circumstances surrounding what we're experiencing, new revelations inevitably occur.

I hope you were able to reap some benefits from this series... strategies perhaps to help control anxious symptoms, insights into the how's and why's of anxiety... as well as a new way to view this unfortunate annoyance in many of our lives.

So your take-away for today is this... what is your anxiety telling you? Is it time to make a change? Are you stuck and ready for transition? Is there a difficult conversation you need to have with someone?

I hope you found the coping strategies and the facts and figures helpful but remember to thoughtfully consider what your anxiety means in your life as well.

Please leave any final thoughts or comments about this series here. I would love to know what you think!

Day 20 - Acceptance

I can’t believe this series on anxiety is about to wrap up. 21 days go by quickly! This has been a fun experience for me and I am excited about embarking on a new blogging adventure starting Feb. 1^st! Stay tuned for the new topic!

But to finish what I started…  I have done a lot of reflecting on what causes anxiety and worry over the past month. Even more important than employing strategies to control it, is coming to a better understanding of why we face it. It seems like it should be so easy. If there is a quality about us we don’t like, we change it right? But alas, not so much.

I think a lot of what’s behind anxiety, has to do with a lack of acceptance and even perhaps contentment with where we are in life and the inevitabilities life brings. Not all discontentment is bad. Sometimes lacking contentment can drive us toward great change; we may see an injustice and become utterly frustrated and consumed by whatever is taking place that we move into action! That’s obviously not a bad thing.

But more often than not, we simply don’t want to face reality and we believe somehow that complaining, worrying, stressing out and experiencing anxiety will help us gain control. It doesn’t.

There are two main areas I want to focus on:

• Acceptance of the unknown
• Acceptance of that which we can’t control

1. My life is full of unknowns right now and I have tons of friends who are experiencing similar situations. I have a close friend who is scheduled to have a c-section tomorrow. Talk about an unknown… What she does know is that as of tomorrow life is going to look completely different. However, as this is her first child, she has no idea what that really means. What will she feel like? What will it be like to have a baby in the house? How will she and her husband relate to one another now that it’s not just the two of them anymore? The list goes on… As my husband is in law school right now and graduating in a few  years, we are wondering… what will life look like after? Where will we live? Where will he work? Will we have kids by then? The unknown can cause great fear and worry for many people. While we can prepare to no end, there will always be unanswered questions in life and eventually we need to just accept that fact rather than getting bogged down by everything that could happen. Let’s start focusing on what is happening right in front of us today!

2. Oh how I wish I could control all things…. But sadly that’s not possible. I had a huge emotional breakdown on my honeymoon of all places because the realization hit me that my hubby is going to do things throughout our marriage that I can’t control, and yet will probably be greatly affected by. And vice versa (although that reality doesn’t scare me as much J). I think the fact that it didn’t hit me until after I had agreed to all of the “for better or worse” stuff is in part due to God’s sense of humor (because there wasn’t much I could do at that point) and in part due to my own delayed reactions. Anyway, stressing out about this fact will not change anything. Instead, I have chosen to just live my life and allow my husband to live his without nagging, nitpicking or trying to control him (which at times I do quite successfully and other times not so much). The point is, there are things in life we can’t control and that is okay. Yes we may be affected by things we wish we weren’t, but when that happens you just deal with it. Trying to anticipate or plan for these things to occur will only create a constant stream of worry and anxiety in your life.

One last note on acceptance – I read a grief book this past year and one thing really stood out to me that I continue to think about from time-to-time. The author of the book (called Life After Loss – highly recommend it by the way) talked about the importance of getting to a point where you stop asking the question “Why?” (“Why did this happen? Why do things have to change?” “Why did this person die?” etc.) and instead start asking “How?” (“How do I work thru this?” “How do I learn from what’s happened?”) “How” is more of an action word and when asked, implies a readiness for growth and moving forward. This takes time. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight and particularly with grieving, it’s quite natural to remain in the “Why?” stage for a while. But I liked the distinction between those two words and the fact that they reveal a lot about the state of the person asking those questions.

I know this is long and I am trying to squeeze all my final thoughts into just two more days of posting on this topic. I hope you have enjoyed the series and welcome any and all comments. See you tomorrow for Day 21!