Running...

On Saturday I ran for the first time in a long time. I used to run consistently starting in high school all the way through my mid-twenties but when I started graduate school my life got a little hectic. My husband and I got married, I was working full-time (while taking a full class load) and trying to adjust to school again since it had been a few years since I finished my undergrad studies. Needless to say, life had gone from routine to totally new and different (as well as insanely busy) in a short amount of time and working out fell by the wayside. (It’s unfortunate because I’m sure working out more would have been extremely helpful in terms of managing the stress of graduate school).

 Anyway, it was so refreshing being outdoors again this weekend and I was reminded of how confident, healthy and energized I used to feel when I was a regular runner. While I let go of it because I was "too busy" and "too overwhelmed," looking back I feel like the benefits would have far outweighed those concerns. The energy I would have gained from running would have carried over into increased energy for studying and other activities. The extra confidence I would have had from looking and feeling my absolute best would have carried over into all other areas of my life.

We get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we think we don’t have time to do things that we view as simply “just for fun” anymore. Or we feel selfish doing something for our own sake, because so many other people depend on us. But the truth is, these hobbies and self-care techniques are about more than fun! They are about rejuvenation and restoration! It's like how on an airplane we are supposed to put our own life jacket on in the case of an emergency before we help someone else. It's not because we are more important, it's because it won't be feasible to help anyone else if we are hurt too. Same idea here. Take care of yourself so that you can be effective and joyful in all areas of your life! 


Are there any habits you’ve let go of for one reason or another that you’d like to get back into? Whether exercise or some other relaxing/refreshing hobby? Think about reincorporating an old habit back into your life that in recent months or years has seemed less important (a HEALTHY one of course)!


Stay tuned for a new series starting tomorrow! I look forward to "21 days of..."  - come back tomorrow and find out!

Slow Down and Listen

I have had a lot on my mind lately. I had no idea when I decided to start blogging that I would become so invested in the process. But I'm glad I have. It is cathartic in a way to get my thoughts out there in writing; it's a form of journaling for me. And at the same time, it has been fun to receive feedback from friends, family and even those I have never met face-to-face who have reaped the benefit of putting into action something I suggested in a post.

But as I go, go, go with brainstorming, outlining, researching and writing, it's like my mind has become just a tad too full and has been unable to retain all of the information I need to retain in order to keep up with day-to-day life. Perfect example: The ring saga earlier this week.

I was reflecting on this and heard an inaudible message that was so clear it made me stop in my tracks: "Slow down and listen." Have you ever felt like God spoke to you in such a way that you just knew the only response was to act (or in my case, to act by not acting)? It was one of those moments. So I cancelled all blogging plans for the evening (thankfully I had already written my post for that day) and took a bubble bath. The first one I have taken in so long! I also journaled and sat quietly before God. I was filled with so much peace that I wanted to kick myself for not doing that more often! (Although kicking myself might have have contradicted the whole "slow down" part).

Does anyone else have trouble slowing down? Or listening? Or both?

Try it this weekend! Have a great one!

Day 21 - Final thoughts...

 I have been feeling some serious writer's block today as I try to prepare for this final blog post on anxiety. It's funny because this is not the end all, be all. I have plenty of time to continue posting and even adding to this series as time goes by and yet I am pressuring myself to make my final words today extra meaningful. :)

I think the way I want to end this is on the topic of perspective. I read an interesting blog post recently called Anxiety as a Tool for Growth. I encourage you to check it out but from what I could gather, the main point is: perspective. Anxiety can be used to help us or harm us depending on how we use it and view it.

A good friend of mine, and fellow Life Coach, often says that we need to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. It is amazing how when we start to do that, it's truly as though they reveal things in the same way another person might. If we sit back and reflect on the circumstances surrounding what we're experiencing, new revelations inevitably occur.

I hope you were able to reap some benefits from this series... strategies perhaps to help control anxious symptoms, insights into the how's and why's of anxiety... as well as a new way to view this unfortunate annoyance in many of our lives.

So your take-away for today is this... what is your anxiety telling you? Is it time to make a change? Are you stuck and ready for transition? Is there a difficult conversation you need to have with someone?

I hope you found the coping strategies and the facts and figures helpful but remember to thoughtfully consider what your anxiety means in your life as well.

Please leave any final thoughts or comments about this series here. I would love to know what you think!

Day 20 - Acceptance

I can’t believe this series on anxiety is about to wrap up. 21 days go by quickly! This has been a fun experience for me and I am excited about embarking on a new blogging adventure starting Feb. 1^st! Stay tuned for the new topic!

But to finish what I started…  I have done a lot of reflecting on what causes anxiety and worry over the past month. Even more important than employing strategies to control it, is coming to a better understanding of why we face it. It seems like it should be so easy. If there is a quality about us we don’t like, we change it right? But alas, not so much.

I think a lot of what’s behind anxiety, has to do with a lack of acceptance and even perhaps contentment with where we are in life and the inevitabilities life brings. Not all discontentment is bad. Sometimes lacking contentment can drive us toward great change; we may see an injustice and become utterly frustrated and consumed by whatever is taking place that we move into action! That’s obviously not a bad thing.

But more often than not, we simply don’t want to face reality and we believe somehow that complaining, worrying, stressing out and experiencing anxiety will help us gain control. It doesn’t.

There are two main areas I want to focus on:

• Acceptance of the unknown
• Acceptance of that which we can’t control

1. My life is full of unknowns right now and I have tons of friends who are experiencing similar situations. I have a close friend who is scheduled to have a c-section tomorrow. Talk about an unknown… What she does know is that as of tomorrow life is going to look completely different. However, as this is her first child, she has no idea what that really means. What will she feel like? What will it be like to have a baby in the house? How will she and her husband relate to one another now that it’s not just the two of them anymore? The list goes on… As my husband is in law school right now and graduating in a few  years, we are wondering… what will life look like after? Where will we live? Where will he work? Will we have kids by then? The unknown can cause great fear and worry for many people. While we can prepare to no end, there will always be unanswered questions in life and eventually we need to just accept that fact rather than getting bogged down by everything that could happen. Let’s start focusing on what is happening right in front of us today!

2. Oh how I wish I could control all things…. But sadly that’s not possible. I had a huge emotional breakdown on my honeymoon of all places because the realization hit me that my hubby is going to do things throughout our marriage that I can’t control, and yet will probably be greatly affected by. And vice versa (although that reality doesn’t scare me as much J). I think the fact that it didn’t hit me until after I had agreed to all of the “for better or worse” stuff is in part due to God’s sense of humor (because there wasn’t much I could do at that point) and in part due to my own delayed reactions. Anyway, stressing out about this fact will not change anything. Instead, I have chosen to just live my life and allow my husband to live his without nagging, nitpicking or trying to control him (which at times I do quite successfully and other times not so much). The point is, there are things in life we can’t control and that is okay. Yes we may be affected by things we wish we weren’t, but when that happens you just deal with it. Trying to anticipate or plan for these things to occur will only create a constant stream of worry and anxiety in your life.

One last note on acceptance – I read a grief book this past year and one thing really stood out to me that I continue to think about from time-to-time. The author of the book (called Life After Loss – highly recommend it by the way) talked about the importance of getting to a point where you stop asking the question “Why?” (“Why did this happen? Why do things have to change?” “Why did this person die?” etc.) and instead start asking “How?” (“How do I work thru this?” “How do I learn from what’s happened?”) “How” is more of an action word and when asked, implies a readiness for growth and moving forward. This takes time. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight and particularly with grieving, it’s quite natural to remain in the “Why?” stage for a while. But I liked the distinction between those two words and the fact that they reveal a lot about the state of the person asking those questions.

I know this is long and I am trying to squeeze all my final thoughts into just two more days of posting on this topic. I hope you have enjoyed the series and welcome any and all comments. See you tomorrow for Day 21!

Day 19 update!



My engagement ring. It is even more beautiful now with the matching wedding band. :)

I found the ring! Thank goodness. (It was on the paper towel rack).

Did I spend all day worrying about it? Believe it or not, no. I managed to take my own advice for a change and guess what? It worked! Had I not been intentional about changing my thinking yesterday, I would have spent the whole day worrying about it unnecessarily and ruining a perfectly good day. All I can say is, phew!!!

Day 19 - Practice What You Preach

This wasn’t how Day 19 was supposed to go… I didn’t plan this and I most certainly am not happy about it. But it is what it is…

The first thing I did when I arrived at work this morning was put lotion on my hands. It was at that moment that I noticed something was missing from one of my fingers: my wedding ring. I immediately felt a physical response to this realization in the form of a racing heart and instant nervousness. There are two potential places I could have left it at home: one , on my paper towel rack (random I know, but there is a little metal part that sticks up resembling a ring holder and I’ll put my ring there sometimes when I am working in the kitchen) or two, on my actual ring holder in the bathroom.

I can’t remember taking it off last night. So, if it is not at home where is it? Another thought occurred to me. The only other time I take my ring off (aside from cooking/cleaning at home) is at work when putting on lotion. I recently got my wedding band and engagement ring soldered together in December and so I have been extra careful not to get lotion in between the cracks.  A week or two ago, I stepped away from my desk and when I returned saw my ring sitting there as I had forgotten to put it back on. That is what scares me! Did I do that again? It is nowhere to be found here at work and yet I can’t remember taking it off at home last night either.

So, I called my husband frantically trying to reach him before he left for school so he could check and see if the ring is anywhere at home. He didn’t pick up. I texted him, not one, not two, but three times! No reply. I finally got a hold of him but he was already in the car. Shoot, that means I am going to have to wait all day to find out if the ring is at home! My finger feels naked and I am antsy knowing what a long day I have ahead of me.

My husband lovingly, yet firmly, reminded me of something during our conversation. I have been going on and on about taking control of anxiety the past 18 days. Now it’s time to practice what I preach. Wow. Reality check!

He is absolutely right though. I have been given the perfect opportunity today to do just that. I have a choice: worry all day about whether or not the ring is at home, or set these fears aside and focus not only on work, but on having a good day. I can ask those, often nasty “what if” questions, like “what if it’s gone forever?” or I can ask the more hopeful version of “what if’s” such as “what if I find it when I get home tonight?” That would be amazing!

It’s so easy to have head knowledge about this stuff but when it comes to living it out, it’s a lot harder! But do-able. And today I am making the decision to do just that. I don’t know if I’ll find my ring. I’ll be incredibly sad if I don’t but aside from a naked ring finger, nothing will really change. Sure, I’ll have to grieve the loss of my beautiful engagement ring and the matching wedding band I was so thrilled to pick out a few years ago but the ring itself is merely a symbol. It says nothing of the love my hubby and I share and  without it, we’ll continue to love each other and remain committed to growing our marriage.

*Sigh*… Today is gonna be a long day. I don’t know what’s going to happen… But I resolve to use this day as an opportunity to grow and convert some of my education about anxiety into real life experience.

Day 18 - Mind/Body Connection

We all know exercise is important. It improves cardiovascular health, increases muscle tone and speeds up metabolism in addition to a myriad of other health benefits. But, did you know it can also play a crucial part in decreasing symptoms of depression and anxiety?

When someone is depressed or anxious, they may have a lower amount of certain chemicals, or neurotransmitters, in the brain (seretonine, dopamine and norepenephrine specifically) than those who are not depressed or anxious. One of the goals when it comes to treating someone who is experiencing these symptoms is to regulate those neurotransmitters (which in turn will regulate the person's moods). This is commonly done through the use of medication but research has also shown that exercise can lead to a similar outcome.

Rather than explaining all of this myself I thought it would make more sense to include some interesting articles related to this subject:

1) USA Today, "Exercise Helps Fight off Anxiety, Depression" (4/26/20)

2) Losing it With Jillian Michaels, "Everyday Stress Got your Metabolism Down?"
* This one explains the relationship between stress and weight loss.

My belief is that a multi-faceted attack is most helpful when trying to eliminate anxiety. That's why I have included so many varied topics in this blog series, from the way we think, to the way we feel, and all kinds of other possible remedies in between. From personal experience, I can say with certainty that I feel better when I am exercising regularly. My energy increases, I sleep better at night, I have more confidence and on the whole just feel like a healthier individual.

A few suggestions:

* If you don't enjoy exercising much, find to an activity that's interactive. I have a friend who joined a flag football team that played a few times a week on the beach which was awesome because she met new people and worked out. Another friend who loves to run joined a training group that worked out together on week days and raced quarterly in 5 and 10k competitions.

* My husband and I like to take walks together. When we lived in Newport Beach, CA we would walk around one of the local neighborhoods that overlooked the harbor and had gorgeous homes. Walking is nice when the scenery is beautiful and you have someone to chat with.

* I have another friend who likes to run/walk alone. She uses the time to pray, listen to music and just have some alone time once a day.

* Group exercise classes are fun as well and there is something motivating about being in a room with a group of people, listening to loud, fun music and having a blast while working out!

* It's always wise to check with your doctor before starting any exercise program.

See you tomorrow!